There are some things I thought I could live without, like chocolate, and highlighters, and things that make me really, really, really happy.
I LOVE THE MANILA COLLEGIAN!
When you love a certain sentient being, you usually talk non-stop about it. I admit, I've been talking non-stop about MKule for days, but of course, I keep the other things about it hush-hush, because I swore to keep them hush-hush, for example...
The MK is a sentient being for me. Well, we're a big family that works together to carry out our purpose. The seniors keep us in line until we can commit and contribute enough that says we are prepared to keep the succeeding MKs in line too. How I feel for this institution...? Gaia! It's hard to explain. The first and last thing I'd answer anyone if they'd ask how I feel about the institution is, honestly, "I LOVE THE MANILA COLLEGIAN!" and if you go back to the definition of that type of love, it's unconditional and you expect nothing in return, (even if you do get so much in return), and sometimes, I feel like I'm not contributing enough to all the things I'm committed to.
That's how the MKule pushes my ego to give a hundred ten percent at everything, even if the result isn't always a hundred ten percent. Everything includes, goals in my academics (I NEED to make the CUT for my post-SP course!!!), my MKule writing duties (SOCIAL AWARENESS!!! and RESPONSIBILITY TO THE PEOPLE!!!), my MKule being-part-of-the-team-and-family-duties (initiative, INITIATIVE, INITIATIVE! ;D) my SP and CAMP responsibilities (which are nil at the moment and will fully reveal themselves in my junior White year two sems from now), and my being a good child to my parents and being a good example for my sibling.
It's so easy to type and say, but it's so NOT easy to do! But I'n DOING everything I can to do so. And of course, everything I do and all the efforts I give will never be enough, not until Gaia says so. XD But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up. I'm determined to pull everything off no matter what, and nothing anyone will say is going to make me change my mind! That's how obstinate you'll find me these days!
I haven't done all-nighters and late-nighters for the MKule YET YET YET, but I forsee that, and I'm commited to it.
I've been pulling off all-weekers and late-nighters for Acads lately, meaning I'm committed to Acads. And the results are dang-up-to-standard. But it's never enough. It's never enough. IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH!
I've kept my parents' trust since I promised. Well, duh, it's the right thing to do, right?! And I'm committed to keeping that trust ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.
I'm not a sworn CAMPer YET, because I only just started taking my first Major class in SP this sem. The sparks in my noggin will probably go hay-wire next year due to the neuron mortality rate forecast, but, GAIA, I'm committed to trying and dying than lazing around and not studying. Sigh. The life of a White is a hard indeed.
When I was a high school senior, I said, "Pass the UPCAT, or DEATH. Are you intelligent? Yes? THEN PROVE IT!"
As a college freshman, I said, "Pull Math 11 off, or DEATH. Are you a loser?! No? THEN PROVE IT!"
Upon taking the MKule swearing in, I thought, "Take it all in, blow by blow, OR DEATH. ARE YOU A COWARD, AMARANTH GREY???!!! NO? THEN PROVE IT!!!"
In the future, I'm sure I'll be saying, "Pass the NMT, or DEATH. Are you a medical worker or not? Oh, really, you are? THEN PROVE IT!"
Here I am. Just as I am. And as just Amaranth Grey, Turk Intern, White, Writer of Signet, an inhabitant of Gaia, I say to myself, "Are you determined? Yes? THEN PROVE IT!"